I’ve had a frog in my throat for hours now. This isn’t the sort of thing that I can write on the fly, you know.
We all just play make believe with this wrestling thing. It’s all of us agreeing to pretend together. We’re going into either mom or dad’s closet, putting on oversized clothing, and playing make believe. And that pretend world can feel very real sometimes.
That’s why, I think, it’s so shocking to hear Reigns say that he’s battling leukemia. It’s just...unfathomable, isn’t it? Even in today’s era where kayfabe is only a thing when it’s convenient, it’s still unthinkable that one of these characters could suffer something as real as leukemia.
And yet here we are. And my eyes won’t stop stinging.
My mother got breast cancer when I was nine. She beat her disease, but it was the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen. My grandfather – the man I have admired more than anyone else in my entire life – suffered a stroke in his home. Several strokes and numerous seizures later, he was gone.
I still don’t think I’ve shed a tear over it. It’s too painful. It’s like I have a block on feeling that pain and it happened eight years ago. Our heroes should never be brought to their knees.
And to think that Roman Reigns has had this disease before? That he beat it penniless as his daughter was about to be born? My god, Roman, I never knew. You never said a word. You never made an excuse. You kept your head down, welcomed the challenges, and defeated them all.
And I feel absolutely ashamed that it took this to make me realize how amazing you are.
Like I said, heroes should never be brought to their knees. We’ll all kneel in due time, sure, but this ain’t that time. So go kick this stupid disease’s ass, Roman. Enjoy some time at home with the family. We’ll miss you dearly in the meantime, but I can tell you this.
Leukemia picked the wrong damn person to mess with.
A Broken Shield
Who could have seen this happening at the start of the night? Reigns stood at the top of the stage as his brothers embraced him. Seth Rollins was openly sobbing. Dean Ambrose ducked his head into Reigns’ shoulder and fought off the pain.
Rollins and Ambrose entered through the crowd in tribute to Reigns. They fought with the ferocity that the Shield always displays. And they won! Rollins and Ambrose defeated Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre to become Raw’s Tag Team Champions.
And then...boom. The Shield, which has been two minutes from midnight for weeks now, imploded. Rollins either said something or grabbed at Ambrose too physically in celebration and Ambrose snapped.
Dirty Deeds onto both of Rollins’ titles. The crowd gasped.
...How on earth do you have the balls to end this show like that, WWE? THIS show! And how big are Ambrose’s to pull off such a masterpiece? He clawed at the mat and muttered something along the lines of “how could you?” At first, I thought he was talking to himself. How could he do something so impulsively?
But no. As Rollins rolled over and tried to console Ambrose, the raving madman turned and pummeled his brother to bits.
Is Ambrose grieving? Was Reigns the only thing keeping him from snapping entirely? Who knows, at this point. His issues seem to be with Rollins’ perception of him and how Rollins is so focused on championships and accolades. Whatever the issues, Ambrose walked out of the arena through the aisle that the Shield usually enters from.
He left alone.
Monster Hunting
In the wake of the tumultuous Reigns news, WWE ran the story that General Manager Baron Corbin was consulting with Stephanie McMahon on what to do with the WWE Universal Championship. Her solution? Brock Lesnar versus Braun Strowman at Crown Jewel. The winner will become Universal Champion.
Paul Heyman came out, voice shaking as some real emotion leaked through. He talked about what the Universal Championship is supposed to mean. It’s supposed to be a symbol for us as fans. It’s the sign of the very best within the wrestling industry.
As champion, Roman Reigns was very much that. The best. I thought it was a really cool moment to hear Heyman genuinely say that.
But this is a show, and Heyman quickly turned the spotlight onto his client Brock Lesnar. Essentially, Lesnar’s worthy of the title that Reigns has left behind; Strowman is not.
...Are we supposed to forget what Reigns said about your client, Heyman? He spent months calling Lesnar out for being self-centered and refusing to live up to his duties as Universal Champion. Lesnar was the villain in this story, through and through.
Now, you want us to support him? Hah!
That’s the point, I’m sure. Strowman came out afterwards and seemed to revert more to his crowd-pleasing ways, but I’m not sure you can just about-face the guy that quickly. Helping the Shield to win their match by running off McIntyre certainly helps, so who knows.
I will say this though – they need to make McIntyre more villainous. He’s too cool not to cheer at the moment. He told Dolph Ziggler early in the show that he was going “monster hunting” and did exactly that. He hit Strowman with a Claymore Kick and waltzed out of the arena without a care to end the segment. And sure, McIntyre was mean in the main event, but he wasn’t necessarily villainous. If they want Strowman to succeed as Universal Champion, fixing McIntyre’s alignment will really help.
The Rest
Finn Balor def. Bobby Lashley – It’s hard to stay sad when Balor’s grinning and foiling the plans of big ol’ burly boys.
This was our first match of the night and WWE needed a huge pick me up after the Reigns news. I think that all three men involved here – Balor, Lashley, and Lio Rush – should be very proud of their performance. Their feud’s still very new, but this got a very good reaction from the crowd and could turn into something extremely fun with time. Also? It’s hilarious how much it bothers Renee Young that Rush doesn’t wear a shirt.
Ruby Riott def. Sasha Banks – Man, the Riott Squad is a weird bunch. That promo of theirs? Yeesh.
With that said, gimme all the Riott vs. Banks matches, please. It sucks that we cannot get away from this 6-woman feud trope on Raw at the moment, but this was a fun match to preview an actual 6-woman match at Evolution.
Triple H and Shawn Michaels talk about nostalgia – You might think of them as old...but at least they aren’t running for political office. Take that, Kane!
You know, I could pick apart Triple H’s logic a bit. His claim that his match versus Undertaker was what made the Australian show such a success is...questionable. But I generally agreed with him here. The point they made is yeah, they’re old. But they’re also running the entire damn operation, so suck it.
Meanwhile, Kane and Undertaker made like Stanley Yelnats and dug some holes.
Angle Talks World Cup – I really enjoyed this, to be honest. Kurt Angle had a promo that was aided by highlights of all his potential opponents at WWE World Cup. He talked about how good everyone is and ended by said that no, he’s not the best anymore. But he knows that for just one night, he can be the best.
Elias is a face now! Hooray! - Look, I love you Apollo. I’m glad you’re getting screen time. But this night was about Elias.
After making fairly quick work of Apollo, Elias returned on stage to cheers trying to sing a song. Baron Corbin interrupted him and was a colossal jerk about the whole thing. He threatened to fire Elias, lorded Stephanie over him, and eventually cut his mic.
In return? Elias smashed him with a guitar! YES!
I feel like I’ve said this before, but Elias reminds me so much of The Rock at times. WWE has allowed him to grow on people organically and it’s a fantastic opportunity for him to turn face and see what happens.
Oh my god she’s such a badass – Everyone praised Ronda Rousey’s promo last week. I liked it, but didn’t love it.
Y’all? I loved her promo on this show. She dropped the cheesy lines and was perfect the entire way through. Slightly mocking to start - “This is how fight contracts work” - and just pure badassery in the end.
I will end you. My god.
I love how quickly the Bellas tried to make Rousey break her word. Once she swore that she wouldn’t touch them, they threw everything they could to make her break. And Rousey smiled. What a badass.
Ember Moon def. Nia Jax, Tamina, Dana Brooke – This fatal four-way was used to promote the Battle Royal at Evolution. And WWE’s clearly presenting Moon as the favorite for this event. Not sure I’d buy it when it’s this obvious, though.
Backstage Brawl – Did you notice how Alexa Bliss didn’t help beat up Lita and Trish Stratus. I know she’s dealing with an injury or something, but that’s sooooo in line with her character.
This show was the most emotionally intense show WWE has had in a long, long time. And in the wake of the Reigns news, I think the roster was galvanized to show up and give their very best.
There was a lot to like. And I don’t know - I just feel very fond of wrestling and grateful for all of the performers right now.
Grade: A
Raw is Roman. Your turn, Cageside.